Two years ago I stopped having a period. It has been something that has made me feel very low- less feminine and a big blob of flesh with no identity. But, nothing has hit me so hard as today- when I discovered that I have already been through menopause. My first thought was horror and fear because my worthless idiot doctor announced this in a brief email with no other explanation. Honestly, I thought if you have menopause this early you die early. I always thought that and when I read that e-mail I took it as, "No matter what you do, the damage is done, you are never going to be a grandmother or grow old with your husband." Oh, it was a really scary feeling and I am still shaking and crying, but my mom and husband assured me I was mistaken. Now I just hope they are right, because I still have not had the chance to talk to the doctor and I am freaking out. Right now I can not say for sure how this will change me, so an update will have to come later. Should I stop having fun and having new ideas? Should I give up on long term goals because I am post menopausal? I did want another child, but now that's out of the question.
The only thing that has helped me feel better at this point is my husband. He deserves a medal of honor for taking this news the way he did. I called him at work sobbing and continued to sob on the phone for five minutes before I could say the most negative, self deprecating, vile things I could say about myself and let him know I was no longer a women and he had to leave me. My husband and I may have problems (and we do, I have not wrote about them, but we do), but he is perfect! He was loving, and sweet, and made me feel so good. He even made me feel young and pretty. To take me from where my head was at to feeling young and pretty- that's pretty fantastic. I'm a lucky women.
10 Minutes later: I just took a moment to look up some more info about this on Web MD and it looks like my crazy idea that I am going to die young was off base so I still have a chance to grow old. Everything else I will figure out along the way. Sorry for the morbid post. Tomorrow I will write the post I originally planned to with a rant about clothing. I will share some interesting pics of my closet.
Oh Hope, I am so sorry to hear this and for the pain and worry that you are going through. Are you planning on getting a second opinion to be sure that the diagnosis is correct...Did he even explain the reason for coming to this conclusion. There are so many reasons why you could not have a period. There is another blogger that had this same issue and it was related to losing weight at a rapid pace. So there can be many reasons. Your doctor was so thoughtless to put this in an email and shock you this way and I am assuming he did not even tell you why.
ReplyDeleteStay strong and my suggestion would be to get more details about the why and get a second opinion.
I'm so sorry that you've had to go through this and wanting more children. I'm extremely happy it doesn't mean what you thought it did though. I hope you are feeling better very soon!
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