Sunday, August 22, 2010

Another Big Day Down and Still Going Strong!

Today was a big day. I was so excited to present Summerfest to the community. I had been working on this event for the past two months and I was really excited by the result. The event had over 50 vendors, petting zoo, a huge bounce house and slide, a real fire truck, carnival games, music, food, dancing, karaoke, story time for kids, clowns, hula dancing, fitness classes, and a lot more! At least 500 people came out for this event. Even a group of cops came to the event. I got a little scared and asked if everyting was alright, one said, "Oh yea, it's a beautiful day and this event is so much fun!"

The bunny petting zoo was a huge hit, but I must admit it saddened me. Last week my bunny Thunder died. This is Thunder.

She was a pain in the ass, but one of the most wonderful pets I have ever had. Only a pain because of the amount of work it required to care for her, but she was worth it. She cuddled with me like another cat and, obviously, she was so stinking cute. I miss Thunder. =(

After my other events I would have celebrated with junk food, so now I am thinking of another way to reward myself for the amount of work I put into that event. It wasn't perfect, but neither is life. It was good enough for me to enjoy a long bath and maybe a plan an afternoon out with my kids tomorrow. Normally after planning an event, I do not skip a beat. I can not afford to stop working, but I am going to enjoy tomorrow and Tuesday off from working.

At the event today I did something super corny and silly. I got on the loud speaker and said, "this song is for my husband because he rocks" and had the DJ play "Rock Me" by Great White. lol I was a little embaresed to do it, but I super love him.

Before, at events with over a hundred vendors I have let the negativity of a few bring me crashing down. Not anymore. I loved my event and I feel that if just a few complainers were not happy, then over all I am still victorious. The hardest part about doing these kind of events is working for all my sponsors. All of my vendors are each my boss for the day and my goal is to please them. Planning an event for just one company is easy, because I cam please one business no problem, but having 50+ "bosses" is a little draining.

Anyway, in regards to weight loss, I am doing well. I have been doing the Isagenix cleanse for almost two weeks and still going strong. So far I have lost almost 45 pounds all together. Not to shabby, but I still have a long way to go. Tomorrow I am starting the liqued tea cleanse for two days and that is hard core.

To see a slide show of pictures from today's event, please visit

Sunday, August 15, 2010


I've mentioned it before, but August is an extremely busy month for me, so there may be a hundred other topics worth covering, but I'm going to share an embarrassing story and get back to work! lol Also, want to make quick mention that I am doing the Isagenix cleanse and I feel awesome!

Here is the story: There are people who I would never want to share this blog with! NEVER! I did post this blog on facebook one time but I kind of figured my professional associates had better things to do then read my rantings; and that was true for most of them. Well, if I were to pick one person in all of humanity who I would NOT want to have read some of the crap I have posted (breaking toilet seats and being a whore), it would be one of my business heros. Last Thursday night I hosted a networking meeting with about 60 people in attendance- all on this list of people I would not want reading this blog. My highly respected business hero, who I will leave nameless, was a speaker at this event. He mentioned my blog!!! Yep, right in front of everyone he said "Hope's blog..."

It was a statement made in passing, but I was in shock.

OMG!!!!!!!!!! He read my blog.

So, business associates who I thought would never see this, I can only ask that you laugh with me instead of at me. Know that I am dedicated to reaching my goals and I am not afraid of anything in business or in my personal life. Your support would mean a lot to me.

By the way, here is a nice pic I took with my family last week. =)

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

At least I still have a chance to get old

Two years ago I stopped having a period. It has been something that has made me feel very low- less feminine and a big blob of flesh with no identity. But, nothing has hit me so hard as today- when I discovered that I have already been through menopause. My first thought was horror and fear because my worthless idiot doctor announced this in a brief email with no other explanation. Honestly, I thought if you have menopause this early you die early. I always thought that and when I read that e-mail I took it as, "No matter what you do, the damage is done, you are never going to be a grandmother or grow old with your husband." Oh, it was a really scary feeling and I am still shaking and crying, but my mom and husband assured me I was mistaken. Now I just hope they are right, because I still have not had the chance to talk to the doctor and I am freaking out.

Right now I can not say for sure how this will change me, so an update will have to come later. Should I stop having fun and having new ideas? Should I give up on long term goals because I am post menopausal? I did want another child, but now that's out of the question.

The only thing that has helped me feel better at this point is my husband. He deserves a medal of honor for taking this news the way he did. I called him at work sobbing and continued to sob on the phone for five minutes before I could say the most negative, self deprecating, vile things I could say about myself and let him know I was no longer a women and he had to leave me. My husband and I may have problems (and we do, I have not wrote about them, but we do), but he is perfect! He was loving, and sweet, and made me feel so good. He even made me feel young and pretty. To take me from where my head was at to feeling young and pretty- that's pretty fantastic. I'm a lucky women.

10 Minutes later: I just took a moment to look up some more info about this on Web MD and it looks like my crazy idea that I am going to die young was off base so I still have a chance to grow old. Everything else I will figure out along the way. Sorry for the morbid post. Tomorrow I will write the post I originally planned to with a rant about clothing. I will share some interesting pics of my closet.

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Goal for Today: NO CAKE

Damn super fun, food filled, California State Fair! Last week I totally fucked up and had a funnel cake, yesterday it was an awesome blossum. This onion based food might seem innocent, breaded onion and dressing? but no! It's a whopping 2710 calories, but the horror of the calories does not nearly compare to the horror of the pure fat content.

I ate about half of this bad boy. And if that was not bad enough I ate three Oreos while the rest of my family was eating carrots. Why the fuck did I not just hae a carrot too? a person who is very close to me (who I will not name for fear she might assasinate me) recently had a gastric bypass, but she is still the worse influenece on me when it comes to food. Yesterday she insited I put a box of Oreos in my purse (that she ate one of), then declared she absolutely HAD to have this awesome blossom (which she had just a tiny segment from). She likes to buy the worse junk foods and only eat a couple bites. Then that food is in my path and I want a lot more then a few bites. Will power is not my strong point- working on that.

Today I will be avoiding the scale, I think. I cant take the bad news. I want to say I am going to starve myself all day to make up for yesterday, but that is not likely to happen. Taking my kids to a birthday party later today so just avoiding the cake would be a big accomplishment! I think I will make that my goal for today. Just avoid cake. Sounds easy, but I already hate the idea. lol

Why cant I be like my beautiful husband who eats non stop and gains nothing? I will add he is always moving or working out, so in addition to a lean body, he has big sexy mussles. Doesn't he look sexy in this pic eating a turkey leg at the fair yesterday? lol This man is 200 pounds of mussle and sexy, while I am all fat. One of the biggest motivations for losing weight is to keep up with him and do fun things together with him. Yesterday I saw so many things I was too fat to do and it really upset me. I want to bungee jump, go on rides, go down this giant super fun slide. It was those things that kept me from really binging because, honestly, half and awesome blossom and three oreos is a lot less then I would have had last year!

Didn't take many pictures at the fair yesterday, this pic was taken at the County Fair a couple months ago before I started my weight loss journey. Or, maybe when I was passively eating less.

Here is a pic from a couple days ago. Keep in mind I was posing and trying to look my best so the weight loss is not as dramatic as it may seem. In fact, so far, it is not really noticeable at all.

Weekly Blog Hop~ Welcome to my blog! Please leave a comment and a link to your blog so we can follow each other.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Small Goals

Today I learned about small goals and I think that was really helpfull information for where I am at right now. I like that I can set a goal for myself as simple as "don't eat that funnel cake" and celebrate when I acheive it! It makes me happy to think about doing small things for myself as a reward for the daily sacrafices that come with losing weight. Most people can not relate to how hard it is not to eat a funnel cake. Last Friday, at the fair, I failed and ate that cake. It caused me to gain back two pounds. If I had just told myself something like, "instead of buying a funnel cake, I will go back to a craft booth and buy a bracelet." I would have been so much happier!

Today I have a few small goal. Right now I decided to make a goal of having lunch after one o'clock and using that time to do something productive. So I'm blogging! My next goal is to avoid any snacking after dinner. I will reward myself by taking a long bath and giving myself a facial.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

A Change

Though I have not shared this blog with many, someone may have noticed I have changed it's title. The reason is because I wanted to focus on something completely positive and if I were to leave it called "320 pounds of Hope" that means I would still be reflecting on the worse, hardest number I have ever dealt with. In a year from now, when I weigh 100 pounds less, I do not want to write in a blog with that name. So, Finally Inspired reflects on the fact that I was/am finally inspired to change my life forever and I am so grateful. You can now reach this blog directly at

It was early yesterday I changed the name of this blog, but after a meeting with a life coach yesterday, I continue to think it could not be more perfect and fitting. The meeting was powerful. I did not expect to feel as amazing as I did afterwords. She helped me take a massive weight off my shoulders and open my mind to success. For the first time, I am ready to stop limiting myself. This could not have come at a better time!

Now, I would like to share with you a blog hop with other inspiring blogs.

Here goes... I am excited to read the other blogs!

I hope I have done this right. =)

Thank you for reading and embrassing my change, dear reader. I would like to end this post by sharing today's weight: 296.4 pounds.

Monday, July 19, 2010


I am under 300 pounds! Huray! 298, in fact.  It may be months to a year away but I am pumped to celebrate being under 200 pounds! My goal is to get there before I am 30 in June 2011. For now, I am ahead of schedule on my goals and very happy.