From Whore to Housewife

At the age of 21, I went from 260 pounds to 160. It was at that time I let myself have the fun crazy lifestyle I felt like I missed in high school. But I took it way too far. I dived deep into the underground. My whole life became about smoking pot, going to death metal concerts, and getting laid. I did a lot of things I am not proud of in that time. It was not until I met my husband, also buried deep in a life going nowhere, and fell in love was I (we) was inspired to change my life and be a better person.

The hardest part of the past 6 years has been forgiving myself for the way I was. I think a big reason that I felt depressed and gained so much weight is because I could not find the middle ground from whore to housewife and I was so busy hanging on to my past, I could not move on. Now I want to smack myself across the face and scream "get over it!!" I am starting to get that people don't care about who I was, just who I am. That works out perfectly for me today, because I am finally becoming someone that is awesome despite all I have done. In fact, I am a survivor! Letting go of my past and the mistakes I made just makes me feel so FREE, so HAPPY, so MOTIVATED!!!


At first, when I changed my life, I let go of too much. I wrapped myself up in a nice card board box of boring and forgot about all the things that make me a fun person to be around. I even started to judge other people. This has a lot to do with why I have so little friends. I had a freaking stick up my butt and I was acting like I am hot shit! Who the hell am I to judge others? Only in the last year did I finally get how retarded I was being. I was judging others because I did not want to face my own demons. That's over. It caused me to lose a lot of potential friendships and not get close to anyone because I had way too many walls up. From this point on, I am not going to concern myself with the actions of other's- just my own (and my kids).

This time when I lose 105 pounds, then more, I will be so much better. There are so many good things in my future! I am going to be working on my dream board this week, then I will share it with you.

Another pic from back in the day, I was so wasted! lol